Session 1245 - Autodromo Di Pergusa, Italy

February 28, 2010 01:27am

Race

Quick Stats

Track Length: 4.967 km
Most Distance Covered: 20 laps, 99.340 km
Simulator Used: GTR2

Race report: SMWFDMCOED Official Ruling: The Case of the Missing 18th Place at Pergusa

*The sound of a heavy wooden gavel striking a plastic garden table echo-chambers across the empty Sicilian paddock.*

Official Decree: Motion 20100228/18

The SuperMarioWorldFormulaDuudeMotorSportCouncilofOlderElderlyDuudes (SMWFDMCOED) has convened to address the chaotic clerical anarchy recorded during the 20-lap event at the Autodromo di Pergusa. Upon reviewing the timing sheets, the council has declared the results legally baffling.

Exhibit A: Philipp Peter (#09 JMB Racing) won the race in 31:50.828, despite Rubens Barrichello also fielding a Ferrari carrying number 09 before retiring on lap 4.

Exhibit B: Fernando Horta finished P6 in a Lister Storm designated as car #01. Simultaneously, Shakov finished P10 in a Saleen S7-R also designated as car #01.

Exhibit C: Position 18 is completely missing from the classification, skipping directly from Mike Jordan in P17 to Marc Lieb in P19.

During the event, intercepted radio transmissions highlighted the team's confusion:

Alan Donatellofson (Crew Chief): "Fernando, Shakov is catching up. Or maybe he is you. Since you both have number zero-one, I suggest you race your own shadow. Also, don't look for eighteenth place on your pit board. It has ceased to exist in this dimension."

Press Gaggle:

Geraldo Chicana (Correio do Asfalto): "Did the council lose the eighteenth-place driver in the lake?"

Council Representative: "We have no comment on the lake, nor the portal that opened in the middle sector."

Otto Steer (Der Speed): "How do you explain two cars running with the number 01?"

Council Representative: "Budget cuts. They shared the sticker."

The council will now recess to search for the missing position under the paddock sofa cushions.

Ps. LOST: One space-time continuum and a set of car number decals. If found, please return to the Lotus F1 garage. Reward: a slightly warm can of Brahma.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position	Class	Driver	Team	Car	Laps	Gap	Best Lap
1	GT1	PHILIPP PETER	JMB RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	20	0:31:50.828	1:31.103
2	GT1	THOMAS BIAGI	BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	20	+ 05.823	1:31.572
3	GT1	ANDREA PICCINI	LISTER RACING	LISTER STORM	20	+ 05.865	1:31.433
4	GT1	LILIAN BRYNER	CARE RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	20	+ 21.979	1:32.800
5	GT1	PEDRO CHAVES	GRAHAM NASH MOTORSPORT	SALEEN S7-R	20	+ 30.969	1:32.804
6	GT1	FERNANDO HORTA	LOTUS F1 TEAM	LISTER STORM	20	+ 36.344	1:33.083
7	GT1	PEPLEPEP	PAUL BELMONDO RACING	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	20	+ 39.625	1:33.575
8	GT1	FRANZ KONRAD	KONRAD MOTORSPORT	SALEEN S7-R	20	+ 50.790	1:32.562
9	GT1	BOBBY VERDON-ROE	CREATION AUTOSPORTIF	LISTER STORM	20	+ 52.205	1:33.381
10	GT1	SHAKOV	USSR LOTUS F1 TEAM	SALEEN S7-R	19	+ 1 LAP	1:34.821
11	GT1	FABRIZIO GOLLIN	BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	19	+ 1 LAP	1:36.077
12	GT1	BORIS DERICHEBOURG	JMB RACING	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	19	+ 1 LAP	1:33.043
1	GT2	NIKOLAJ FOMENKO	RWS MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RS	19	+ 1 LAP	1:35.828
2	GT2	ANDREA BERTOLINI	JMB RACING	FERRARI 360 MODENA	19	+ 1 LAP	1:36.361
3	GT2	ANDRZEJ DZIURKA	TEXACO	PORSCHE GT3-RS	19	+ 1 LAP	1:36.817
4	GT2	GODFREY JONES	TEAM EUROTECH	PORSCHE GT3-RS	19	+ 1 LAP	1:37.510
5	GT2	MIKE JORDAN	TEAM EUROTECH	PORSCHE GT3-RS	19	+ 1 LAP	1:37.665
6	GT2	MARC LIEB	FREISINGER MOTORSPORT	PORSCHE GT3-RS	19	+ 1 LAP	1:37.149
7	GT2	JAMIE DAVIES	TEAM MARANELLO CONCESSIONAIRES	FERRARI 360 MODENA	19	+ 1 LAP	1:38.182
8	GT2	DANIEL HERRERO	DHRC	FERRARI 360 MODENA	18	+ 2 LAPS	1:33.201
9	GT2	KYLE LOVECRAFT	COKE RACING	FERRARI 360 MODENA	18	+ 2 LAPS	1:38.728
10	GT2	EMMANUEL COLLARD	EMKA RACING	PORSCHE GT3-RS	18	+ 2 LAPS	1:38.735
11	GT2	TIM MULLEN	TEAM MARANELLO CONCESSIONAIRES	FERRARI 360 MODENA	5	DNF	1:37.712
13	GT1	RUBENS BARRICHELLO	BRAWN GP	FERRARI 550 MARANELLO	4	DNF	1:34.030
12	GT2	JOHN SMITH	ENERGIZER RACING	FERRARI 360 MODENA	4	DNF	1:39.789
14	GT1	MIKE HEZEMANS	FORCE ONE FESTINA	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	3	DNF	1:41.414
15	GT1	PHILIPPE ALLIOT	FORCE ONE FESTINA	CHRYSLER VIPER GTS-R	3	DNF	1:41.650
13	GT2	TOMAS ENGE	MENX	FERRARI 360 MODENA	2	DNF	1:48.394
16	GT1	JAMIE CAMPBELL-WALTER	LISTER RACING	LISTER STORM	1	DNF	1:42.633